My smacks in the face (A.K.A. light bulb moments) started last Tuesday. I was handing Brian a sandwich when an elderly man walked past me. His grace was familiar, I saw it recently for the first time in my Pa's brother, Reg. Quickly my thoughts went to Pa and then sadly to the realisation that he is no longer with us.
Yesterday was a vacuum, mop, clothes washing day and many of my thoughts were drifting to times I had shared with my Pa. Maybe it was the cloud pyjamas I was sorting, or the relaxed mind my awesome vacuum cleaner can bring. Later I did the blog check/net surfing thing (or was it a book at the "fill a bag for $2" thrift store sale) and came across something that struck me. I can't find it again for reference but the general message was that "grief/loss comes in waves".
So, I'm starting to think that I'm not over my loss, apparently I thought I was doing well, and I was.
This morning I grab the calendar, check the date, check last month: today is one month since, as my aunt put it best (inside joke here), Pa drove through the wide pearly gates of Heaven.
It's almost proof that it's ok that my thoughts are packed full of memories of Pa right now, and nothing else. And seeing as they are thoughts, and I'm a little confused they need to be blogged, right?!?! I'm not sure, I'm not sure how people will take a post like this. Humour, is she nuts? Well maybe, but it's me and it's from the heart, so I hope it's ok.
Enter today's blog check/net surfing (cause the dishes really don't need doing, neither does dinner, etc!!). I'm a read a blog, click the link to another blog kinda girl and so today my journey took me here:
Jennifer McGuire (papercrafter, admired by the best)
I think Jennifer explains it best, the therapeutic nature of scrapbooking. For days now I've been telling Kevin I NEED to craft, because it truly does have healing properties, just like any hobby. And although I haven't scrapbooked about Pa, (yet), I did blog. I must say that without scrapbooking I wouldn't have a blog, or even know what they were for that matter, and this post helped me to heal in more ways that I could ever have imagined. (Thanks Dad for making me read it to everyone)
Be sure to read Jenniefer's post before heading over to the Good Grief Blog
For many people, the hardest part of losing a loved one and grieving that loss is figuring out what to do with all the love they feel for the person.
ReplyDeleteRemind yourself that you don't have to stop loving someone just because he is no longer with you. When a memory pops up, send a loving thought and know that you are loved in return. You may find comfort in this, and the strength to continue on in your journey.
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Grief creeps up in the most surprising places...I do not believe you ever stop grieving but I think that it gets easier when you can think of memories, look at pictures and smile instead of cry.
ReplyDeletexxx